After Breakfast

After a long morning of cooking fish eyes and rat tails, I longed for the bed that called me name.  I wasn't surprised when Shrek told me to get up because he needed help putting on his pants.  Neither of us did anything since the children were born, so we spent our lives slaving over hot pots and pans cooking dinner.  This dinner did wonders for him and put a few pounds on his lower stomach.  After I was able to pull them up passed his knees, I tried holding the buttons inward to fasten them together.  The buttons didn't move.  Instead they popped off his pants and hit me in the eye.

Now I am walking around with a cotton patch over the left side of my face. As if I wasn't hideous enough.